To the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus   Here comes Frankenstein Here comes Frankenstein Up off the doctor’s chair, Arms and legs All sewn up together I think that’s Britney’s hair! Stitches bleeding Folks are fleeing All in terror and fright, Lock your doors And say your prayers It’s Halloween tonight.   by Milli […]

To the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town   Oh, you better not shriek You better not groan, You better not howl You better not moan, The Grim Reaper is coming to town. He’s gonna find out From the folks that he meets, Who should have arsenic put in their treats, The Grim […]

To the tune of O Holy Night   O spooky night! The ghouls are softly howling, It is the night That the dead take the earth. Long lay the world In sin and error pining, This is the hour That the damned take their worth. The chills and fear The weary world endures in, For […]

To the tune of Frosty the Snowman   Frosty the goblin Was a very evil soul, With a three-pronged stick And a ten-pound brick And two eyes made out of coal. Frosty the goblin Was a very wicked ghoul, With a scary grin And a bottle of gin And he got kicked out of school. […]

To the tune of The Little Drummer Boy   Screams you’ll give us Pa rum pum pum pum, Or else we’ll haunt you too Pa rum pum pum pum, Our finest knives we bring Pa rum pum pum pum, To slice your mortal soul Pa rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum […]

To the tune of Silver Bells   We’re on sidewalks We’re on porches Dressed in costumes to scare, Through the city we’re ringing your doorbells. Trick or treating Candy eating Gooey stuff in our hair, But the most fun is shrieking out loud. Shivery yells! Shivery yells! That’s the Halloween nitty-gritty. Moan and groan… Leave […]

To the tune of It Came Upon the Midnight Clear   A werewolf changes from full moon clear, A furry, damned lost soul. From human man a monster comes, Night skies do take their toll. Above the sad and lowly plains, A scent so sour and foul. The world in solemn stillness lay, To hear […]

To the tune of O Come, All Ye Faithful   O come all ye frightful Horrible and spiteful, O doom ye, O doom ye Too bad for you. Meet at the graveyard, Where moss grows over body-ohs. O give us all your good stuff O give it to us rough! O come and join us […]

To the tune of Jingle Bells   O’er the hells we go On a one hearse Chevrolet, Dripping blood on snow Howling all the way. Skulls and crossbones burn Making spirits bright, Oh what fun to be buried alive In a coffin sealed up tight. Oh! demons in hell, demons in hell Sulfur all the […]

To the tune of White Christmas   I’m dreaming of a white coffin Just like the ones I used to know, Where the nail heads glisten And mortals listen To hear vampires rise at night. I’m dreaming of a white coffin With every fleshy neck I bite, May your days be scary, with fright! And […]

To the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas   We wish you a spooky evening We wish you a spooky evening We wish you a spooky evening And an evil New Year. Painful torture we bring To you and your skin, Painful torture for Halloween And a frightful New Year. Oh bring us […]

To the tune of Silent Night   Scary night Unholy night All is gone All is blight. Round you possessed mother and child Gruesome spirits too taunting and wild Rest in eternal peace Rest in eternal peace.   by Bam Bam

To the tune of Sleigh Ride   Just hear those hell bells jangling Strangling, mangling you, Thrown in the fire You are my human BBQ. Your insides are boiling Soiling this lovely stew, When you dare stop leaking I’ll be through with you.   by Justin Timberlake

To the tune of O Tannenbaum   O skeletons! O skeletons! Rattle down my hallway. O skeletons! O skeletons! Rattle in my attic. Let them know, the day is here, When your spirit will appear. O skeletons! O skeletons! Rattle through your graveyard. by Michael Dukakis   *Published by Swarthmore College

To the tune of Up on the House Top   Up from the casket, vampire claws Out climbs good ol’ Dracula. All through your neighborhood With big fat fangs Vlad is the ruler of undead gangs. Boo Boo Boo, who wouldn’t do Boo Hoo Hoo, a bloody you-oo. Up from the casket, big white fangs […]

To the tune of Joy to the World   Death and sickness Have come for you, Your body, soon, shall rot! A lifeless corpse With bug-infested wounds, Your stench shall rule the world Your stench shall rule the world. And zombies and zombies Shall eat your bones.   by Bart Simpson

To the tune of Winter Wonderland       Ho’s a sing, are you listening? Cherry Lane, heels ‘a glistnin’ A beautiful sight We’re happy tonight, Pimpin’ on a haunted Halloween. Gone away, is your old hag Here today, is a good shag She sings a sweet song As we go along, Pimpin’ on a […]

To the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas   On the 5th day of Halloween My big ghoul gave to me… Fiiiiiiiiive seeeeeeeevered heads. Four mocking crows Three scorched hens Two tumbled bums, And a rotten corpse in a dead tree!   by Matto Demon

To the tune of Jingle Bell Rock   Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell Rock Jingle Hell bling and Jingle Hell sting, Bloatin’ and floatin’ up bodies galore Now the Jingle Hell prince wants some more. Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell, Jingle Hell Rock Jingle Hell chime and Jingle Hell crime, Bleedin’ and a heavin’ in […]

To the tune of Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!   Oh the corpses in the morgue are frightful But the fires are so delightful, The graveyards are full, we just learned So let us burn! let us burn! let us burn! The mortals lives keep ‘a poppin’ And it doesn’t show […]

To the tune of I’ll Be Home for Christmas   I’ll be dead for Christmas You can cry for me, Teeth fall out and toenails grow And rigor mortis will be. Halloween will find me A night where souls run free, I’ll be dead for Christmas You can cry for me.   by Lionel Ritchie

To the tune of Take Me Home, Country Roads   Far from Heaven, Transylvania… Heads on fenceposts Senseless daily slaughter. Vlad the Impaler Blood thirsty through & through, Takes a wooden stake And points it right at you. Haunted groves, take me home To the place, that I belongggg, Transylvania, blood will stain ya Take […]

To the tune of We Three Kings   We three vamps of Holy Banew Bearing doom we traverse unto, Fields of coffins, dawn time lock-ins Following yonder moon. Oh, ohhhhhhh, Moon of evil, moon of night Moon that gives vampires sight, Westward leading, necks are bleeding Guide us to thy perfect bite. Myrrh is mine, […]

To the tune of The First Noel   The first motel A-long the highway, Was for certain poor strangers a place to stay. A place to stay Where it was spooky to be, So-o close to Norman Bates’ family. Motel, motel, motel, motel, Born is the king of psycho-hell. And in show-ers of blood The […]

To the tune of Away in a Manger   Away in a casket No blood for his tomb, The little lord Dracula Lay down his evil doom. The sun in the sky Looked down where he lay, The little lord Dracula Garlic keeps him at bay. The people are scared Their bleeding awaits, But little […]

To the tune of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing   Hark! the herald demons sing Glory to the new-born King! Disease on earth, no mercy shown Sinners will be the ones who’r known. Greedy all ye nations, rise Join the triumph, ’tis no guise, With th’ haunted host proclaim Damien is born in bloody rain. […]

To the tune of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas   Stab yourself a rotten little pumpkin With a serrated knife, Cut a hole with jagged little scary lines. Little children hide beneath their beds Boogie Man is here, From now on you’ll be living in constant fear. (slow) So be safe little children, And […]

To the tune of A Holly Jolly Christmas   Here’s some freaky, stalky witches Instilling terror and fear, A cauldron they go And predict I know A year with wicked tears. Here’s some chalky, walky zombies With heads ‘o missing ears, When you say hello They just may go And rip your worthless rears.   […]

To the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear?   Said the night wind to the rotting man Do you smell what I smell? Down in the alley, rotting man Do you smell what I smell? A skull, a skull, Rolling out of sight A trail of blood as long as a kite, A […]

To the tune of God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen   God rest you scary Frankenstein On Einstein’s bed you lay, Remember what an evil beast Was born on your birthday, To save us all from Satan’s power When we had gone astray. Oh tidings of terror and fear Terror and fear, Oh tidings of terror […]

To the tune of The Book of Love   I wonder, wonder, who oh oh Who wrote the Book of Death? Hey, hey, hey I loathe you yes I do And here I have this Book of Death, With it I’ll murder you. I wonder, wonder, who oh oh Who wrote the Book of Death? […]

To the tune of Welcome Back   Welcome back Your scabs, they itch like all get out. Welcome back To that same dried blood that you picked right off. Well the pain, has all changed since you leaked gangrene, But your screams have remained and they’ve gotten mean. Who’dve thought we’d hear ya? (Who’dve thought […]

To the tunes of We Are the World & Do They Know It’s Christmas   We are the ghouls We are the monsters, We are the one’s that will suck your blood And eat your candy. There’s a choice we’re making Will you survive? Together we’ll make a darker world, You cannot hide. (slow) Do […]

To the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner   Oh, say can you see By the dawn’s early light, When so thirsty we rise The moon’s light does fill the skies. Who’se white necks do we bite Through the perilous night, O’er the coffin’s and tombs We lay still then seal your doom. And the blood’s […]

To the tune of I’ve Been Working on the Railroad   I’ve been fighting gangs of zombies Fighting to keep them at bay, I’ve been fighting gangs of zombies Just to live another day. Can’t you hear the mortals crying Risin’ up so early in the morn, Can’t you hear the zombies growling Die then […]